Pam Bartlow 1952 - 2011

When my friend of 40 years, Michael Bengston, called to tell me that our friend and sister Pam Bartlow had died the night before I was shocked and taken aback. Then, very, very sad. Pam died during the night of a heart attack. I hear she thought she had heartburn. Turned out to be much, much worse. And we've all suffered a touching and unexpected loss.

Her memorial was conducted on Monday, December 5th at 2 p.m. at the United Methodist Church in Wrightwood, California. She had spent the last two decades of her life in Wrightwood, where she owned and ran Hair Fitness, her beauty salon. It was in Wrightwood she made the friendships that sustained her in the last few years, and it was her friends in Wrightwood that organized and conducted her services. To them, we are all very grateful. You can read Pam's obituary here.

Pam was there, just about all the time, for decades of our lives. I first met her when she was 19, living in the charming older part of downtown Fullerton, Calif. She was a local. Our friend Phyllis Johnson (Costa) has a cousin that went to school with Pam.  A perennial character, the late Bruce Hachey (Fat Bruce), introduced me to Pam. I had just bought my first home at age 21, moved in a bunch of my friends to pay the mortgage, and was working in nearby hospitals at the time. Pam had just been married. Though I didn't know her first husband, I understand he was an earnest fellow - so it came as a surprise to him that Pam had no intention of reigning-in her very social lifestyle.

One thing you need to know about Pam, she was an attractive young lady who knew how to make an entrance and command a room. She was always high-energy, full of life, bubbling over with enthusiasm - and in the early days, sensuality. For most men, and a lot of women, she was quite the character. And, of course, she made a few of our female crew members more than a little nervous.  They were wise to keep an eye on the girl, she could be pretty damn seductive. It was part of her charm, of course.

So her first marriage didn't last long. Born Pam Powers, her married name had been Pam Whiting - which she kept until she met and married doctor Greg Bartlow some years later.

Pam was comfortable on her own, she had a great network of friends, and quite self-sufficient. It wasn't long before she was enrolled in Fullerton College's Cosmetology program... and we were all making pilgrimages to the campus to get haircuts. That's the thing, we were a crew. We stuck together.

Shortly after that, Pam accompanied a group of us to Europe for a long, five week trip. Pam, and me and my partner at the time, Vanessa threw caution to the wind, leased a Simca in Paris and headed south. We met our bro Steve Hesler in Versailles and then spent a pretty crazy next few weeks careening through France, Spain and Morocco. I'm thinking that trip will take an entire post to re-construct, authored by the principals.  I'm pretty sure it was the time of Pam's life, she certainly stepped out of her comfort zone (I'm thinking squat toilets here) and partied hardy in new and foreign places. As just one example of our adventures, we entered rural Spain on a holy holiday of some sort. After parking the Simca, we started to explore the village - Pam in her tube top and wrap-around skirt. We were all showing a lot of skin, in retrospect. Long-story-short, we got run out of town by a small, angry mob of men. Who knew travel could be so much fun?

So the intent of this blog is to provide a public space on the Internet for friends, family and really anybody who cares to share stories, pictures and the like. You can easily do so in the comments section below, but if you'd like a bigger pulpit, let me know and I'll make you an author so you can post a piece of your own.

The Wrightwood Years

Pam loved Wrightwood. When she was married to Greg, and they started skiing in the area and looking for a vacation home, she knew she'd found her personal paradise. It was obvious to everybody, and we were all thrilled for her. Even though it meant she was further away from us. After her brief Iowa detour, it didn't seem so far in any case.

When she and Greg split up, Pam stayed in Wrightwood. She opened her shop and was doing just fine on her own. Until her after work social drinking caught up with her.  I've got to hand it to Pam, we all insisted she retain a high-powered LA lawyer and pursue any option but incarceration. She wouldn't hear anything about it. From Pam's conservative point-of-view, she'd done the crime and would honorably do the time. All of it. And that's what she did. I wrote her every month, and Lupe & I visited for a weekend when we got the chance. Her backbone and character during this test made us love and admire her even more. At least in my case, and I'm comfortable saying I wasn't alone in that regard.

In Wrightwood, Pam met the friends that formed the fabric of her life in her last years. Here's the great, recent pic we got from her in October of this year.

And here's her shop, where it was always going on....

Also in Wrightwood, Pam met Johnny.  Johnny was Pam's partner. She lived at his place. She danced with him, she partied with him, and maybe most importantly, she fished with him.

Regrettably, I don't have a pic of Pam and Johnny together.  I'm still looking, as I seem to recall seeing one. If you've got additional pics, especially of the two of them, we'd love to post them here on this blog.

The Fullerton Years

Before moving to upscale Naples Island in the Belmont Shores neighborhood of Long Beach with "...my doctor," her husband & former employer Dr. Greg Bartlow, Pam spent a lot of time in Fullerton. She lived in a 1930's white, wooden bungalow home in the old downtown, just off of Wilshire Blvd close to Harbor. When she left her first husband, she got an apartment (as I recall) off of Commonwealth. That's when she was going to cosmetology school at Fullerton College. Later she moved to Yorba Linda briefly, if memory serves.

During that period, her boyfriend was Steve Omalev. Steve's dad worked at CSUF and the family lived above Chapman. Pam was happy for quite a while with Mr. Omalev. And our crew generally liked him as well. We all had some fun times during that period. Steve worked construction during the day, and played keyboards in a band at night.  We all hung out at Medina's Cantina on Santa Fe in old-town Placentia, Orange County's oldest barrio. Pam had an Amazon Parrot at the time, and he'd ride around on the dash-mounted hand strap in her VW bug. He also spent a lot of time hanging on the light fixture over the bar at Medina's. That bird was loud, and it ate the back off her dining room chairs. But she loved it.

Pam had a long-term attachment to a variety of animals. Her animal friends, including horses; a variety of really nice dogs; and birds were an important part of her life. She didn't like being alone. Pam also loved Lucy. You know, of "I Love Lucy..."  She'd seen every episode, and could quote lines. The show was often on in the background when she was home alone. Pam had Lucy, she had her animals, and she had her crew.  In total, we were her support group.

I should mention Denise, and some of Pam's other, totally hot female friends. But I'm afraid I just can't remember them all, with the exception of Denise. Denise was, from my limited point of view, Pam's best friend for years. I hope she finds this memorial blog, and contributes some of the pictures I know she has.